Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Live to Tell

Day 154 in a Rebecca Taylor Dress
Today I'm wearing an ice blue Rebecca Taylor silk sundress that I purchased back in 2008. I love the vibrant color, subtle polka dot pattern, and the way the silk just flows around me. The belt also helps show off a tiny waist, which is always a good thing!

I paired the dress with some strappy sandals from BCBGMaxAzria: the BCBGMAXAZRIA Women's Maetis T-Strap Sandals in gunmetal. I'm also using my shitake colored Nine West Jameson purse.

On a personal note, I'm feeling sad today.

Ever since Izzie and my grandma passed away, just four days apart, I've been reading more and more on the subject of Heaven and the after-life. I was raised Catholic, and thus learned about the differences between Heaven and Hell from an early age. My sister, Gail, and I also attended a Catholic elementary school during our time in Missouri in the late 1980s, and thus went to church at least twice a week. I do remember questioning some of the stories from the Bible, though, most notably: How did the dinosaurs fit into the description of how God created the world? (I went through a phase where I was obsessed with dinosaurs.)

Some of the other stories, like Purgatory, frightened me, and I remember my mother telling me that as long as I didn't maliciously kill someone, I would go to Heaven. I believed her, of course. It made sense to me.

My husband is not religious, and I stopped going regularly to church in high school, when my parents let me make the decision about whether to attend or not (I usually chose the latter). I went most of my life without having to deal with the death of someone close to me, but since early 2010, it seems to be a constant. Izzie, Grandma T. and Grandpa F. were of course the hardest to deal with. Angie, a guard in our building, passed away in November, and just last week, another guard, Officer Sanders, passed away as well. Chapin and I will be attending the wake tonight, so I guess that's why death is on my mind. In these times of grief, I often think about the idea of Heaven, and hope very much that it is true. Chapin does not believe in life after death, and I joke with him that I will be very happy to say "I told you so" one day.

Officer Sanders, only in his early 40s, died very suddenly of a stroke. He was a very nice man, and always had a smile for everyone in our building. He had the day shift, so if I had time to go home at lunch to walk George, I would always see him and chat with him. He used to joke that he always knew it was me coming, because he could hear my heels on the marble floors.

I also love to bake, and I would always bring some of my treats down to the guards. Officer Sanders was often the first to try out some of these efforts, and he would always tell me how good everything tasted, and that I should bake full time (ha ha)! He just had a very friendly, sweet nature, and it's a shame that he is gone from this Earth. My thoughts are with his fiance and his family during this sad time.

Here's a clip from one of my favorite movies about the after-life, Defending Your Life. I love Albert Brooks!

1 comment:

Granny Annie and Auntie Nonny said...

Dear Michelle, The Albert Brookes Clip was very amusing. It portrays how we all search for understanding. I think you show a real wisdom in taking the ( too many) sad occasions in your life as an opportunity to contemplate some weighty questions. I have always felt that there MUST be some definitive information about questions like 'what happens when we die';otherwise we are just "inventing' and 'wishing', 'hoping ' according to our own whims , as it were. A million different people, a million different and often contradictory ideas. I encourage people to use the often misunderstood and misrepresented Bible as the source of info on these topics. For, example, Jesus spoke of Lazarus ( his friend) as "sleeping " in death; i.e.,unconscious and awaiting Resurrection. ( Eccl 9:5".. the dead are conscious of nothing at all.."). Not what alot of people WANT to believe, but a perspective with some authority on the topic and worth thinking about.
Good luck to you in your journey for comfort and understanding. Annie Gallitz